Dear you,
I was thinking about you today.
i've been working at a public high school called Aikawa high school
for about a month minus 2 weeks in a small town on Sado island,
Niigata prefecture, Japan, where I live and where i grew up until 18
years old and a month or so.
The principal of the Aikawa HS and one of the teachers I don't
dislike, who taught me English when I was a high school student asked
to help fill the vacant post of/ replace the former teacher of English
(he was full time and probably permanently licensed by the government)
who had been absent from work with mental health problems for about 3
weeks. I hear he had kept leaving and coming back for shorter periods
of time before the 3 week leave.
The school and the teachers were desperate with the situation and I
wanted to be of help so I agreed to work at the high school until the
end of December 09 for the meantime and started taking charge of 6
classes, 180 students about in total at the very end of september 2009
as a substitute teacher. I am there from 8:30am to 5pm on weekdays.
The education board of Niigata prefecture gave me a permit to teach
English and work full time at public HS which is valid for 3 years
from 28th Sept 2009. That was when I started working at the school and
it was 2 or 3 days after I was asked to.
as you know, the society we live in right now seems very ill,
unhealthy and much closer to collapsing than the time before our birth
and so I faced a lot of challenging situations like you have, where/
in which I wouldn't have been able to let my brain and heart accept
and or understand unless I expand the capability of my brain and the
tolerance of my friends and family who are always very supportive
thankfully. You needed to work harder than usual to help me stay
healthy and happy. It is getting harder everyday for you as an
individual to stay healthy and happy. So I imagine you are a bit tired
to help you and me.
Anyway, all the effort of mine and yours have helped me learn so much
about my self, you, meaning of and purpose of life, the earth,
universe, future, etc.
It's been feeling easier, less stressful and less uncomfortable for me
to think about these things, to understand and express my true
feelings and thoughts to me and you better. I realized I had never
felt so free and open before.
i have suffered and experienced a little bit of pain both mentally and
physically.
yet my life has been kept alive so far, right now i am doing well,
feeling ok, quite appreciative and not too pessimistic or depressed
about life, being able to breathe fine, eat, sleep, think, move, hear,
see, touch, smell, write, type, talk, and dream, i am not too hyper,
upset or too hopeful about things. I am not wanting my life to come to
an end at the moment. I am dreaming of the day when I can accept my
death and desire it when I face the need.
so i think i am doing a very super wonderfully great job right now on
our mission to "stay alive".
i am truly proud of myself for the first time in my life.
The main goal of me writing this email and sending this to you and all
the other friends of mine who can use the Internet and understand
written English is this.
To tell you my sincere thanks for not just staying honest, loving
yourself, staying alive and bettering yourself
but also supporting me, encouraging me, loving me and helping the world.
thank you, for being who you are.
I am grateful for having you as a teammate.
i love you very much,
let's keep trying not to lose hope yet.
*Cheers and hugs*
Yuko
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